Nov 8, 2023
When you hear the word “fate,” what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?
Everyone seems to have a unique take on it. For some, fate feels like a relentless challenge; for others, it’s a gentle wind guiding their journey, while some believe it deals them an unjust hand.
From ancient times, people have been drawn to understanding fate, which gave rise to ‘pre-scientific’ beliefs in prophecy, dream interpretation, and other forms of foresight. Then came three groundbreaking revelations, which Freud termed the “three great insults to humanity.”
First, it was Copernicus who upended our understanding of the universe. He posited that the Earth revolved around the Sun, not the other way around, transitioning our perspective from geocentric to heliocentric.
Next, Charles Darwin’s revelations about evolution challenged humanity’s sense of uniqueness and superiority. He proposed that humans share a common lineage with animals, underscoring our place within the mammalian family.
Lastly, Sigmund Freud introduced a profound insight, proposing that it wasn’t just our ratio that dictated our actions, but rather forces hidden in our subconscious. He suggested that our conscious was more like a tenant rather than the “master of its own house.”
Interestingly, Freud argued that psychoanalysis wasn’t unveiling new truths, but provided a scientific framework for understanding themes already explored by ancient philosophers.
What is fate?
In his essay “Dostoevsky and Parricide”, Freud subtly suggests that fate is merely an extension of the paternal figure, and when individuals discuss fate, they are, in essence, referring to their fathers. Here, it’s worth noting that Freud’s father, Jacob was an established 40-year-old patriarch and grandfather when he wed Freud’s mother, Amalia, a young woman of nineteen. This dynamic undeniably influenced Freud’s perspectives, heavily emphasizing the father figure.
Subsequent psychoanalysts, such as M.Klein and K.Horney, highlighted the significant influence of the mother on an individual’s destiny. However, it’s often simpler to attribute life’s trajectories to the ambiguous concept of “fate” rather than address parental influences directly.
Traditionally, fate has been perceived as predestined, with seeing numerous aspects of our lives that weren’t up to us: our birthplace, our family, skin color, nationality, and socio-economic background.
These life courses, in many ways, are charted by our parents. While some paths are rewarding and straightforward, others resemble logging trails — deceptive clearings that seem inviting but lead to dead ends. Such paths can culminate in what’s often termed a “midlife crisis.”
Is there a way out of such impasses? Can one effect change? I believe so.
Understanding oneself and one’s needs is paramount. While fate might be a concoction of genes and upbringing, psychotherapy offers tools to grasp our parents’ roles in shaping our fate and make choices aligned with our core values.
Q Medical / D.Avtonomov©
